Birth: Nailed it!

Hi there, little one!

I always enjoyed hearing my birth story, so I thought I would share yours with you as well.  Here goes...

As you can imagine, I didn't quite know what to expect of the birthing process.  For that reason, I left my decision for pain management completely open.  In my head, I would like to go without drugs or an epidural, but not knowing what kind of pain I was in for, I was not about to proclaim my plan to go it natural. 

During the last month of pregnancy, I didn't really experience false contractions/Braxton Hicks.  I kept waiting for them to come as some kind of sign I was getting close, but they never did.  On the morning of your birth, October 10, 2012, I started feeling contractions on my way to work at about 7:30 a.m.  Since I knew false contractions can also be triggered by dehydration, I started drinking water… lots of water.  However, the contractions were still coming and they felt like they could be the “real thing.”  I already had a schedule OB check up later that morning, so I went to work as usual. 

At my doctor’s appointment, I mentioned the contractions.  He asked how painful they were, and I told him they were noticeable but not debilitating.  I was three centimeters dilated, about one centimeter more than last week.  Since he couldn't know if I had progressed that one centimeter over the last seven days or the last seven minutes, he just told me to head to the hospital if they got stronger and closer together.  While there, we discussed an induction date since he estimated baby was starting to get pretty big.  I could be induced the following morning or wait through the weekend until Monday morning.  Because I didn’t want to be induced, your dad and I decided we would wait until Monday.  He said he would call to confirm and give me the details.

I returned to work a little bummed that I hadn't been told to go straight to the hospital.  However, I was fairly convinced that these were in fact real contractions, so I got busy.  With each contraction, I would focus on my work to get through it.  Apparently, the work was a good distraction and I didn’t show the pain I was in.  I started timing the contractions, and sure enough, they were getting closer and closer together. 

Though I intended to get my work for the day completed as to not leave it for Jodie or Brandie, around 4:00 it was obvious to me that I wasn't going to make it.  I called your daddy and let him know that we needed to go soon.  I calmly walked down the hall, clocked out, and said my goodbyes.  People still didn’t realize that I was in labor, telling me that they would see me tomorrow.  Because we had taken separate cars, I drove home with your daddy following me in rush hour traffic.  Once we got home, we grabbed the pre-packed bags and headed to the hospital. 

Once at the hospital, around 5:30 p.m., we headed to the fourth floor to the labor and delivery desk.  We asked, “Is this where we check in?”  The receptionist responded, “Check in for what?”  I guess she didn’t realize I was in labor either.  After a long list of questions to answer, I finally got taken to a room.  There, the nurses asked a million more questions at leisure, from health history to whether or not I brought a phone charger.  They even asked if there was a possibility I was pregnant.  I think they forgot to take that one out of the Labor and Delivery triage list. 

The nurse asked me how I intend to handle pain management.  I told her that I would let her know if I changed my mind, but if I could do it without medications, I would.  She smirked and spoke to me like I was a child, “Ok, sweetie.”  I suppose they hear that a lot.  

They finally got around to checking me… down there.  Her exact words: “I was expecting a 3 or a 4, but hunny, you are at 8 cm! You need to do this for a livin'! You look great!" 

Needless to say, they started asking those questions a little more rapidly. Family started rolling in: Grandmama, Grandpops, Uncle Nate, Aunt Brittany, Papa, Mimi, Uncle Darren, M’Kenna, and Aunt Brenna were all there.  The doctor got there about 20 minutes after they checked me.  He said that he had called my work number to confirm Monday’s induction appointment and Jodie told him I went to the hospital.  When in the hospital room with me, he asked if I wanted him to break my water to get things progressing a little quicker. I said sure. I kicked family out of the room, fully expecting for them to come back in right after for a little while, but once he broke my water, the difference in my contractions were night and day.  They came so hard and I felt the urge to push so bad, but you weren’t so convinced you wanted to come out yet.  You stayed pretty high.  Since I was in such pain, I decided not to allow family back in the room.  I felt ready to have a baby.  I kept telling the nurse I wanted to push, but she kept telling me to wait, that baby wasn't moved down yet.

Your heart rate started plummeting between contractions (which was weird) so they put me on oxygen and had me roll on my side.  I kept telling them to check, that I was ready to push.  When they finally did and had me test push, sure enough I was right.  

The pushing process was intense.  I pushed so hard that sometimes I would nearly passout and I clinched my puke bag the whole time (though I never threw up, thank goodness). I saw stars at times and got really lightheaded.  The blood vessels in my face and shoulders popped, so I looked REALLY creepy afterwards.  There were complications during delivery, and they kept telling me with urgency "we got to get this baby out" so I think that's the only reason I kept going. I could hear your heart rate monitor and at times it was slower than mine, so I knew something was wrong; when they said "Push," I just did.  The room was suddenly filled with nine medical professionals waiting to take care of you.  I tried not to think about it or get scared; I just closed my eyes and concentrated on getting you out.  Pain didn't seem to be an issue.  I was just doing what I knew had to be done.

An hour of pushing later (I think), you were out.  You were born at 9:51 p.m.  I knew then that you rocked because you let me get a good night sleep, contractions started when I got up in the morning, and you were out by bedtime!  ;)

Funny story:  When you were crowning and Dr. Snead could see you had a full head of hair, between contractions he gave you a faux-hawk.  Dr. Snead is a funny guy!  

When you came out, you didn't cry.  I don’t really think my heart beat either.  I was just waiting for you to take that first big breath.  I think I nearly held my breath with you.  It took over two minutes for the doctors and nurses to get you to take a breath: the scariest two minutes of my life.  Even though they finally got you crying some, they had to whisk you away to NICU for about 4-5 hours.  You were born at 9:51 p.m. but I didn't get to hold you until around 3 a.m. 

By the time you were returned from NICU, all family members had gone.  It was just you, me, and daddy.  I held you in my arms and suddenly I realized how perfect you are, how perfect my life is.  God gave me a wonderful husband and now a beautiful, healthy baby girl.  Does it get any sweeter than that?  

I love you, baby girl!

Mommy

Mommy:Pregnant

Hi there, baby girl!

In a strange way, I have felt both the nastiest I have ever been and the most beautiful I have ever been, both simultaneously.  How you can feel as beautiful as a supermodel despite stretch marks and "cankles" is beyond me, but it is possible and it is miraculous!

Keep in mind that I have on reserve, in a super secret location locked away from the world, a collection of photos with those stretch marks, swollen feet, and stylish hand splints I have to wear every night to bed, to bring out on the day that you claim I am ruining your life for not letting you go to the movies with some boy without cleaning your room first.  I can also tell you some grotesque stories of the body functions you have caused your poor mother.

But, for the most part, pregnancy has been beautiful and enjoyable.  The positive aspects have far outweighed the negative, and I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced pregnancy could pretend to fully understand.  There are many parts about being a woman that flat out stink... but after this process, I am realizing that God has reserved a special duty for us that is unparalleled.  All of those womanly woes make these moments possible, and for that, I am grateful.

First Trimester :: The first trimester had to be my least favorite.  While the mental excitement and newness of being pregnant is exhilarating at times, the symptoms definitely catch up to you.  Morning sickness is a misleading name.  I was sick just about every morning (I-35 was littered with remains of my breakfast, FYI), occasionally at lunch (though work helped me keep my brain off my nausea long enough to make it through the afternoon), almost every night after dinner, and about every other night before bed.  Good news, though: I lost 12 pounds!  And I got to eat a lot of milkshakes: yum!  While I would look in the mirror each morning and hope to see growth in my belly, I soon realized the only thing showing progress was my chest, an area that growth was neither needed nor welcomed.

Second Trimester :: The physical changes in my body during the second trimester were mostly the desired ones.  My boobs and belly were in a constant race for furthest out, though my boobs mostly lead the way.  When my belly would hit a growth spurt and I would get excited, my boobs would hit a growth spurt to, knocking them back in first place.  The nausea mostly subsided.  We got to see a sonogram in which you actually looked like a baby, not a grain of rice, and we got to find out your sex.  Though many of the pregnancy websites and such would say that I would start feeling your movements soon, I didn't feel these until much later than most.  I would turn off anything in the house that would make noise, lay on the bed as still as I could, and try to feel you.  Nothing!  You were sneaky!

Third Trimester :: For the most part, I enjoyed the third trimester.  I got to feel your movements and your kicks, which is one of the coolest feelings ever (though you do kinda feel like you are in an Alien movie).  You were very shy though.  I knew you were awake and moving, but the second I would put your daddy's hand on my belly or tell him to watch, you would freeze.  In my head, this is what you were doing in there:

My belly finally beat the boobs, though don't mistake... the boobs gave it good effort!  Your growing body started taking up more and more real estate, which caused not-so-fun-but-bearable symptoms like heartburn (Tums, anyone?), varying appetite, difficulty breathing at times, etc.  I didn't really have any cravings (although one time I really wanted to have sour cream for lunch), but your daddy had enough cravings for the both of us.  The last month of pregnancy is when most of the undesirable pregnancy symptoms like swollen ankles, corpal tunnel, and the infamous waddling show up, but it wasn't all bad:

• Cankles are actually easier to shave than ankles because there aren't any bumps to work around;
• Maternity clothes are easier to shop for since the waste of all of them are stretchy and made to fit most (plus maternity clothes are made to fit people with curves and breasts!);
• Tums come in this super-yummy mint flavor that actually keeps your breath fresh, too;
• Strapless bras stay up when you are pregnant because your belly holds everything up.

Finally, for the pictures (and yes, these are professional ones with some touch ups to hide stretch marks and that annoying scar from my belly button piercing I got as a teenager):

 

All in all, I have loved being pregnant with you, and I am anxious and excited to meet you in (I hope) less than 2 weeks!  

Loves you, little one!

Mommy

Baby Bennett

Hi there, little one!


Today, with a heavy heart, I bring to you sad news.  Your second cousin, Bennett Stephen Vanderham, who was born on July 25th, passed away today.  From his daddy, Zach:


"As soon as Bennett was born he was rushed to NICU for not breathing.  Bennett had seizures and brain trauma.  After a few days we were air lifted to Cook Hospital in Fort Worth, Texas.  Over the last couple of days the doctors and nurses tries their best to take care of our little boy.  He incurred severe brain injuries during birth and after reviewing the best options for Bennett we decided that it was in his best interest to take Bennett off life support.  With heavy hearts our son passed away this evening.  He fought long enough for us to sleep with him one night and hold him all day.  He will be forever loved and remembered.  Thank all of you that knew for all your thoughts and prayers."


Baby Bennett's organs will be donated to other children in need, and his purpose in life, as short as it was, is far greater than many of us can hope for in our own.  Although you never had the chance to know him, I pray you can live by his example, taking advantage of every single breath to show love and care to others.  


This whole process has been scary and eye-opening.  I am thankful for your health, Annabelle, and I pray daily that it continue throughout the pregnancy, birth, and well into your life.  


We will forever remember and love this lost family member, and be grateful for his short life.  

3D Sonogram

Hi there, little one!

A lot has happened in the last couple of months.  You have been growing and moving like crazy.  However, I joke that you are going to be shy because everytime you are moving and I put my or your daddy's hand on my belly to feel, you stop!  And somehow you know when we are watching your belly because you stop moving then, too.  That's okay!  We still keep trying, and occasionally your daddy gets lucky enough to see or feel a movement.

Also, we have decided on a name for you: Annabelle Cherie Jackson

I wish I had some really cool story about how we came up with it, but I don't.  We were stuck on your first name for a while before finding a middle name.  We would drive down the road, reading signs and pairing names with Annabelle.  Your daddy accidentally misread a name on a sign, and we liked it!  That was that!

Today we set up an appointment for a 3D sonogram.  We invited your grandparents to come, too.  In attendance with us: Grandmama Kim, Grandpops James, Uncle Nate, Aunt Brittany, Papa Sam, and (to be renamed, possibly) Pocka Pat.  The room was set up with couches and the sonogram was put on a large flat screen, making it an enjoyable experience for everyone there.  I think they all enjoyed it.  Seeing sonogram photos is cool, but this makes it that much more real, and we wanted to share that with them!

You were, as usual, very shy at first.  You kept your face hidden, but over time, we were able to convince you to show most of your face.  And what a beautiful face you have!

With your arm covering your face

You literally covered your face with your hand!

You let us see a little bit of your face!

You even put your foot up to hide your face!

But we were determined, so the paparazzi continued...

And continued...

Until we got about 30 of the same exact picture! 

Now the debate starts... do you look like mommy or daddy?  We have had split reviews so far.  I can't ever tell anyway, but I think you will look like your daddy.  The first one always does!  Only time will tell!

Loves you, baby Annabelle!

Mommy

3rd Sonogram

Hi, baby girl!

Today we had our sonogram at the doctor's office.  Even though we just had one a few weeks ago, we still enjoyed seeing the changes.  Plus, since this one was more for medical reasons than vanity reasons, it was a whole different experience.  We got to watch them measure your body proportions, count fingers and toes, look for specific facial features, etc.  They have confirmed you are a girl (again, you know that) and told us that everything about you looks healthy.

This week, the baby app says you are 10 1/2 inches long and weigh about 3/4 of a pound.  You are growing leaps and bounds, and we could even see differences from the sonogram 3 weeks ago.

Nothing between those legs... still a girl!

Look at that leg!

Sucking your thumb (maybe)

Your spine!

With each sonogram, it has become more and more real to us that there is a baby inside there!  We can't wait to meet you, little one!

Loves you!

Mommy

Gender Reveal Party

Hi there, little one!

Your Grandmama Kim and Grandpops James hosted a gender reveal party for you today at their home.  We had quite a few people there, from friends from work to family from all over.  Some of our out-of-towners included Gay and Kevin from Lubbock; Aaron, Kristen, and little John from Shreveport; Rayla and Morgan from Ruidoso, New Mexico...  all came to find out if you are going to be a little miss or a little mister.

Highlights:

We asked guests to wear pink or blue to cast their vote.  It was a pretty even split.  

  

Your dad wore a blue shirt with pink shorts (a last minute addition, I might add), and I wore pink.  

Baby John, along with the rest of the Atkins clan, wore pink 

The Jackson side (except Uncle Darren and M'kenna, who he dressed) wore blue.  The entire Lucas side (except Uncle Nate) wore pink.

We asked guests to guess how many pink and blue M&Ms were in a jar for their chance to cut the cake.  After we played a silly wives tale game to see what the old wives tales would predict you to be (boy, by the way), it was time to cut the cake.  Your Grandmama Kim was the closest guess at the M&Ms, so she got to wield the cake knife.  Drum roll please....

It's a girl!

I know you already know that... but that sliver of pink icing in the cake was our exciting way of finding out alongside our friends and family today.  And how much fun that was...

Now, we have a name to choose, a nursery to decorate, and plenty of pink outfits and accessories to stock up on!  Let the fun begin!

Love you, little GIRL!

Mommy

2nd Sonogram

Hi baby!

Today was an exciting day for your daddy and I... we scheduled an 18 week sonogram with an imaging company, Stork Vision (our doctor wanted to wait a few more weeks since he is looking at other developmental characteristics, whereas we wanted to know the gender as soon as possible!).  Although we will have the ultrasound technician determine your gender today, you father and I will not know.  It will be securely sealed in an envelope, not to be opened until it is in the safe hands of our baker, who will be making a reveal cake for our party this weekend, where all guests will find out the gender with us!

After taking a few photos for the company's medical director, she started giving us the grand tour of your mommy's belly.  The difference between the last sonogram and this one is astounding!  You have grown so much!Last sonogram you were the size of a grain of rice; and now you are curled up to about the size of a large bell pepper.  You were so active; we got glimpses of every part of you.

Fronts of both of your shins, top of your head

Two tiny feet!

Good profile of your face

Waving hello to your audience...

Another profile view

Your first recorded smile... creepy, huh?

We got to see your heart beat!  Music to our ears!

BIG stretch!  You can see your heart in this one, too.

Sneak peek at 3D imaging.  Notice how skinny you are (fat builds up later).

Your Great Aunt Eve said that if you don't continue to grow in there, we will have to invest in a bunch of hats! :)

We can't wait to show off your fashion shoot to friends and family, and your daddy especially can't wait to find out your gender at the party on Saturday.  

Love you, little one!

Mommy

First Sonogram

Hi there, little one...

Thursday, February 16, we had our first sonogram.  For the first time, we got to see your tiny body (at that time, you were barely the size of a grain of rice).  When the doctor first started the sonogram, only your daddy could see the screen.  It was really special to be able to watch your dad’s facial expressions as he got to really experience the pregnancy himself.  While I have the benefit of knowing you are there by sporadic nausea, more frequent trips to the bathroom, and extreme tiredness, to your father, he only has an idea that you are there… his only proof of your existence was a faded line on a pregnancy test.  But now, at the sonogram, he could see you for himself.  He just smiled a very sweet smile, almost as if he was holding you in his arms for the first time.  He was getting acquainted and enjoying every split second of it. 

My favorite part:

When your daddy saw movement, he asked the doctor, “Is it fluttering its little arms?”  The doctor and I smiled, and the doctor replied, “No, that’s its heart beating.”  He then turned on the sound so that we could hear your tiny heartbeat.  That was a pretty awesome sound, if you ask me!  Your heartbeat was 113 beats per minute, which is healthy.  Since it is lower than 140, some not-so-scientific people suggest that it means you are a boy.  But, who knows!  We will just have to wait and see!

Judging by your size, the doctor guesses you are a little younger than we originally thought.  He moved your due date back to October 11 or so.  This is your official first portrait:

You are the white spot on the screen, and that circle thing above your head is a yolk sac.  You measure 4mm from head to rump.  This is essentially what you are looking at:

 

To most, I’m sure this sonogram is a boring black and white roadmap of my insides, but to me, I see a beautiful baby, growing at amazing speeds (you have grown 10,000 times in the last month), proving to be one more of God’s little miracles.  I look forward to the many more blessings you have in store for me, little one.

Loves you,

Mommy

Discovery

Hi there, little one...


We just learned of your existence this week, and what a week it was!  Our dreams of you far precede your existence, so we have a little catching up to do.


Here's how we got here:


Your mommy and daddy have wanted you since before their marriage.  We have dreamed of you, prayed for you, and planned for you.  After close to a year of no baby, I went to see a doctor.  For nine months I worked with the doctor, trying many methods to get to you, including weight loss and loads of medication.  


After another month of treatments, I contacted the doctor's office to find the results of my tests, to see if my body prepared itself for conception.  That was last Tuesday.  The doctor's nurse practitioner informed me that the results of the blood tests suggested that the dosage of medication failed, that it was another month with no pregnancy.  She called in the next month's round of prescriptions.  That morning I took a pregnancy test just as a precaution before starting another month's medications.  To my surprise, there was a faint second line, an indication that I was pregnant.  While all of my insides wanted to jump for joy, I was skeptical.  So I took another test: result positive.  

I made an appointment with my doctor on that Thursday to confirm.  Yup, I was definitely pregnant!  After than confirmation, your father and I were jumping for joy!  :)  Our dreams were coming true... just in time for my birthday!  


At this point, we were bursting at the seams to tell our family and friends, those that have been with us throughout our struggles to have a baby.  But... true to our nature, we wanted to make it special and fun!  


We had already made plans for both sides of our family to go out to a dinner/murder mystery on Saturday.  Everyone would be there: both grandfathers, both grandmothers, both uncles, both aunts, and of course, your great-Gurney.  What a perfect opportunity!  But how?  Your daddy and I got to work on our plan:


Considering it was my birthday, we knew everyone would expect a cake.  But this cake... this cake would be special!  We went to the local cookie cakery and presented our cake design.  It turned out just how we had imagined:

Depending on your level of biology when you read this, you may not get it.  But, one day you will, and you will laugh.  


During one of the intermissions at the murder mystery, we had the waitress come to set down the cake on the table.  We opened the box... you could definitely tell the cake was unexpected, and it took some time for everyone to figure it out.  Your daddy slyly videoed reactions:

Some remarks...
- Granddaddy James reminded me that he didn't care for cookie cakes before we opened the box.  You can hear me tell him that this one is special. 
- Your grandmother Kim laughs in the background like she gets the joke then suddenly realizes she doesn't get it. 
- Your grandmother Pat is the first to put it together, but only a split second before your grandmother Kim does.  From there it sounds like little girls at a Justin Bieber concert.  I doubt Justin Bieber will still be around when you are reading this, but you can probably look it up on YouTube for perspective.  
- You can hear your uncle Nate tell me that I lied to him.  Two nights before at a dinner, Nate almost busted me!  He asked, and I told him I wasn't pregnant.  His reaction then was great: "Bummer, I was about to be so excited."


After the family knew, we could share with our friends.  It didn't take long for the word to spread.  Text messages were flying from almost every phone at the table.  Facebook was buzzing!  It seemed like the whole world knew within about half an hour.  Everyone was so excited for your future arrival!  


Yesterday, my birthday, was also Super Bowl Sunday.  If you are a girl, you will recognize my full sarcasm when I say: "yay..." But, in all fairness, it worked out nicely because I was around some more Jackson family friends that I could share the news with.


All in all, this was a wonderful birthday.  I cannot think of a better gift.  Since my mind is in baby-mode, I have been reading like crazy.  I think I have 6 pregnancy apps on my phone.  As it turns out, best guess says you will arrive around October 3 and you are approximately the size of a grain of rice.  You aren't technically a baby, yet.  You are referred to as a fetus.  The sketches of your development indicate that you look much like an alien at this point.  You have been kind to me and not infected me with morning sickness, heartburn, etc., and I am too excited to be tired from pregnancy anyway.  So far, I feel great.  Thanks for that, little one!  Keep it up!



Upcoming events:
First Sonogram, where I will hopefully hear your little heartbeat :: February 16


Loves you,
Mommy